I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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