I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
