I can tuck mytits in my pants
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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