Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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