dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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