Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
