Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
