just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
