I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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