I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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