I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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