I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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