tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
