Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
