Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
