Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize