would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize