My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
