I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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