We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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