And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
