Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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