11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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