My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish i was in the wii world.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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