This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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