Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
