After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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