Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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