You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
