At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
