is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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