I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
