You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
