So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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