I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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