That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
