do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
