Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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