he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
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On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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