I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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