I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
