and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
