Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize