Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
