Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
