I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
