We're facebook friends in real life
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
