we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
