Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
