God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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