It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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