Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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