remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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