Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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