I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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