Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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