my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
